Motorola: Secret Meeting Transcript

It is amazing that shareholders put up with this horrific decision making. Instead of the company splitting into two, how about a brand new board of directors along with a new management team. True to the old adage: An new broom sweeps clean…

I wonder if this is what happens behind the closed doors at Motorola (MOT):

Board Member 1: We need to do something, I think that some investors are questioning our decisions.

Board Member 2: Really? I think we still have them believing that we have another Razor coming out.

Zander: Razor? Who said Razor?

Board Member 1: How about a stock split? Yeah, that may put them off the trail.

Zander: Split? Who said Split?

Board Member 2: Well, I don’t know, maybe we should work on a new design for the Razor3? Remember how popular we were in 2003?

Board Member 1: Maybe a dividend, or a how about a buyback?

Zander: Shopping? I want to go!

Board Member 1: How about we split the company so we can have two companies. That will let us hide out longer and undetected. Yes! Yes!

Zander: What about me?

Board Member 2: I want to be President now! I want to be President!

Board Member 1: Of course you will be!

Zander: What about me?

Board Member 2: I want shares, I want shares!

Board Member 1: More shares! It looks like we are doing something! We are so smart!

Zander: Smart, Zander Smart….

Board Member 1: OKAY, I am going home….Let the lawyers deal with it now.

Board Member 2: Me too. I am going to pick out furniture for my new office. But I need to get lunch first. Wow, it is 11am already! Ed, do you want lunch?

Zander: Lunch? Lunch? I want Lunch!

Meeting adjourned.